@hollyhoneychurch thanks for your reply. I too got used to the isolation. When you lose someone you love, you have a tendency to protect yourself and you don't want to get too attached to other people, for fear of losing them too. Later I lost my father and never saw my first two children again.Life has been suffering for me, but I continue to look with admiration at the wonders that we have at our disposal every day. Wonders that, as humanity, we are destroying. We think we're smart, but we're just wasting time fighting each other to celebrate meaningless victories. Life is also about failure. And there's beauty in that. Right now, I'm not afraid of life. I'm just afraid of not being able to survive in the midst of so much evil. We need our souls to be healed.